Remembering Our Angel

2 years ago yesterday I went for a 20 week ultrasound and found out that our baby boy had already gone on to be with Jesus. Jerome was deployed and it was heartbreaking news to have to tell him over the phone when he called to see if we were having a boy or a girl. As awful as those next few days were, I could not have felt more love and support from my friends and family. I KNOW that God had His hand in the situation, and I knew then that something good must come out of this tragic day.

James Grady was born still early in the morning on April 16th, 2009.

So much HAS come out of our experience. My children are AMAZING! Even in their little understanding of the situation they were able to later take this experience and relate to a young boy who had just lost his father in Afghanistan. Jadyn may not have full understanding of the gospel, but she knows WHO Jesus is and she knows that he is REAL! I had to hold back the tears as she told her friend that his daddy was in heaven with Jesus and her baby brother.

I have had countless opportunities to share and witness with hurting moms about how God never leaves us. Through this experience I have become stronger in my faith and know that God wants us to share with others how he has blessed us in every situation.

I was not sure whether or not I even wanted to try and have another baby. Jerome never really talked about it either. I was just content with the 3 blessings that I had already been given. But I guess God had better plans for our family!

This past August when I found out that I was pregnant, WOW! What a surprise! I wasn't sure HOW Jerome was going to take the news... Don't get me wrong, He is a wonderful father and LOVES all of our children. But convincing him to have the 2nd and third was a bit hard, LOL. He wasn't sure that he wanted more children after Justin. I remember he said to me, "How can I love another child as much as I love Justin." I wondered the same thing too at the time. But God gives us more and more love for our children every day! He actually took the news very well and is just as excited as me, or maybe even more excited some days to see our newest little one.

All of my other pregnancies have been very easy. I never had morning sickness, heartburn, or any of the other typical pregnancy symptoms. I LOVED being pregnant. I still do, but BOY this BOY has given me fits! I have had just about every symptom written in a book about pregnancy with the exception of diabetes. I am border line Pre E. He is so LOW now, and has been for weeks, that I am in PAIN! I am just ready to have this baby NOW. I have tried everything to kick him out, but nothing works. I know that God will send him to us in His time and I must be patient.

So today, as I sit back and reflect over the last 2 years, I am just full of JOY and feel so BLESSED! Emotionally anyway... Physically, I am DONE! LOL

As I was complaining about my physical pain and hoping that the baby would come soon, this song came on the radio only to remind me that all the physical and emotional pain is just temporary. The is Joy in the waiting.

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

Thanks to my wonderful friend Samantha for the Maternity Pictures :O) http://sakphotographyak.blogspot.com/


Here is the link to my story from 2009 if you are interested :
http://jonesfamilyal2ak.blogspot.com/2009/04/and-then-there-is-god.html


Ginger